Week of Mar. 6 - 12

Monday: I had plans to make a cowboy stew for dinner in the crock pot. It was to be my first attempt at slow cooker cooking, and it turned into quite an adventure. Not so much an adventure, more of a calamity. A series of calamities. Turns out the recipe was designed to feed a small army, and we'll be enjoying cowboy stew until just a few years after the earth crashes into the sun. But the stew was not the main event of the dinner. I made cornbread, which is the natural accompaniment to anything with the word "cowboy" in it, and I must say, hit that one out of the park. It was moist on the inside and perfectly golden on the outside with a hint of sweetness. Among the best things to come from my kitchen thus far.

Tuesday: My cousin LaVaughn came in from out of town to go to the motivational seminar in Tampa tomorrow. We all got together for dinner at Red Lobster. I'm pretty sure this was only the second time in my entire life that I went to Red Lobster, and now I remember why. First of all, the restaurant's namesake only occupies but a few lines of the menu in an obscure location. Second, the favorite way of preparing seafood of all kinds seems to be frying it. Between dinner of rainbow trout (mercifully not fried) and appetizers (fried several times) I think I consumed about 1,300 calories in the space of an hour. But LaVaughn is doing well, even if she isn't looking forward to the imminent boredom that is a motivational seminar. She's always fun to be around, and laughs are almost guaranteed.

Wednesday: I was rollerblading on the trail today, and I found a watch! It is a very nice Timex sample, complete with the very elegant Velcro band that works just well enough to fail its previous owner. I had a moral dilemma over actually taking the watch for all of two seconds. Then I got over it. In other news, I shredded on of the wheels on my rollerblades, thus upgrading my procrastination to necessity.

Thursday: Today Dad and I rented a log splitter to make short work of the chunks we have been gathering for immolation. It was manly work! Which begs the question, why does manly work always seem to take place early in the morning? This morning it happened to be in the neighborhood of 6:30 AM, but I maintain that wood will split just as easily in the afternoon as it does in the predawn hours. That being said, if you ever have the chance to operate a gas powered log splitter, I saw grab the opportunity with both hands! You get a serious feeling of power watching that wedge pound through stumps like a warm knife through butter! After the splitting was done, it was time for stacking. I got that job so Dad could take the splitter back. That certainly made me appreciate just how much wood we split because.

Friday: Does everyone remember how popular rollerblading used to be? Seemed like you could hardly step out your door without being mowed down by some Spandex-clad fitnessphile. And there was a booming industry to keep these people well Spandexed and rolling happy. Then, something happened and all that dried up. I don't know what the exercise of choice is these days, but no one in the immediate area seems to have the replacement wheels I need. Incidentally, working at The Sports Authority is just one marginal step away from voluntary institutionalization. The employees just seem to wander about, slack jawed, just kind of starring off into infinity, occasionally mumbling without provocation. In other news, I decided to make fish tacos for dinner. This was a splendid idea, even after the knife bit the tip of my thumb off. Well, not completely off, just more off than on, so there were no pieces to get lost in the onion I was working on at the time. Despite this setback, the tacos turns out very good, with the exception of the sauce being a little runny.

Saturday: At work they tried to shaft me again by making me close, but I wasn't having any of it. After all, I had a huge pile of wood at home and a group of neighbors coming over to watch the dramatic burning of Christmas trees. So I left work a little early to enjoy in the pulled pork sandwiches and Emeril's cole slaw we had at home, and then it was on to the torching! The actual burning of the Christmas trees was as exciting as always. Although no one is exactly sure from where, a baby bird sort of showed up in the yard, and later died. It was sad and puzzling at the same time. The round out the night I made what I thought was an excellent fire. The logs were stacked in such a way that allowed free flow of air through the formation, and the weight was distributed to minimize pressure that would result in a collapse. Ultimately the logs slowly caved in to themselves and turned to ash.

Sunday: I am truly mystified by the management team at work. Last Sunday, when we had a surplus of time to finished he truck and get extra stuff done, they sent the whole crew home early. Today, when we were behind schedule and had a huge truck to work, again they sent the crew home early. I honestly cannot crack the decision making paradigm that runs this show.

Winner & Loser

Winner: "My Name Is Earl." It's just a terrific show. No reason other than it makes me laugh on a regular basis.

Loser: Applebee's. First of all, for having terrible food and worse service. Second for taking old songs that ranged from bad to forgettable and rewording them for their own twisted purposes. The last straw came with the remaking of the theme to "Gilligan's Island."