And The Winner Is!

So the Emmys were last night, which was kind of fun. We watched the "live" coverage, which was 2 hours old by the time it aired here, of the red carpet parade pre-show. I spent this time trying to wrap my brain around how something that was taking place 10 blocks away needed a 2 hour buffer. For all the smack that is talked about the east coast out here, they sure bend over backward to cater to them. The Emmy winners were already announced, published on the Internet, and probably sloshed at the Governor's Ball by the time the show aired for us to see. The following are two of my favorite Emmy highlights:

1) Donald Trump sing that annoying woman from 'Will & Grace' singing the theme from 'Green Acres.' More than likely the first and last time the Donald will sport overalls. I would not be surprised if they were custom crafted and lined with Japanese silk and padded with hummingbird feathers, but it was fun to see him wield a pitchfork just the same.

2) S. Epatha Merkerson's surprised and truly stunned acceptance speech for her role in 'Lakawanna Blues.' She was so flustered that she lost her written speech down the front of her dress.

3) The two Emmys 'The Daily Show' won, which is always a good thing to see. Also, Jon Stewart's little skit was also rather hilarious, made even better because it got such big exposure.
At the end, though, I was spitting mad that Patricia Arquette was even nominated, much less won best actress for anything. She has the acting ability of a seriously injured box turtle. Katie was exponentially angrier because she's at the bottom of the heap right now, and the woman at the top is less talented than those people who give "real testimonials" on infomercials.

In medical news, I suffered a nasty spider bite the other night. It happened in bed, so last night was one of rather fitful sleep, because every time something brushed against me I would get the mental image of a fanged arachnid salivating at the chance to taste manflesh again. After Katie refused to sleep under the covers and act as spider bait, we both ended up sleeping on top of the covers and spent most of the time shivering. A bit of happy news is that I found the offending arachnid and smashed it down to the molecular level. Then I laughed maniacally as it swirled to its watery grave. I spent the first part of today researching spider bites on the Internet and I am fairly confident that I will not die because of this. I know this primarily because I am not dead. But the bite does kind of hurt, but mostly it itches, and there's a hard, red bump in the middle adorned with the twin fang marks. The spider was small and orange, and made a satisfying crunching sound when I administered punishment. I have been keeping hydrocortizone on it, but if anyone else knows of a spider bite remedy, I'd be happy to hear it.