Week of August 13 - 19 - Special Summer Movie Review Edition!

Now, I haven’t seen a great number of movies this summer, but those I have seen, I feel the need to comment on. I’ll try my best not to include any spoilers in case some of you have yet to see these films, but do read on at your own risk. That said, let’s grab a tub of popcorn and a bucket of cola and read on, movie lovers.

X-Men: The Last Stand
Sure, this movie may have come out in the early stages of the summer movie season, but I’m including it just the same. I have to say I was thoroughly disappointed with this movie, both as a movie fan and as a comic book fan. First of all, I think Cyclops got a raw deal in the first two movies, and it hardly seems fair that he goes out without even having a real fight under his belt. Second, I think what they did with Professor X was way out of line, but more than that, Magneto’s reaction to it was also not in keeping with the comic storyline. As far as the movie goes, the plot I thought was extremely lame. Arguably the two coolest characters, Phoenix and Archangel, had exactly 0 character development throughout the film, and were just there as a vehicle to some really neat-o special effects. To cap it all off, it concluded with a “surprise twist ending” that I think everyone could see coming from the next county over. Movie highlights include any scene with Bullet Tooth Tony, Stan Lee’s cameo, and a nekked Rebecca Romijn.

Superman Returns
When I first saw this movie, I was a little put off by it, because it seems like more of the same, but after I thought about it for a little while, I really started to like it. I thought Kevin Spacey did a fantastic job as Lex Luthor, bringing just the right amount of camp to pay homage to Gene Hackman’s portrayal, but with enough new evil to keep me interested. All the other characters did a great job, especially whoever played Jimmy Olsen, because he was more Olsen-y than the 1978 version. Here’s my original problem with the movie: when Superman started to pick up Luthor’s new real estate venture, I thought that might be going just a bit too far. But upon reflection I realized that that bit of “going too far” is the very essence of Superman as an idea. The whole concept of the character of Superman is that this is a person who can do anything, even the stuff you think he can’t do, he can do that as well. That is what makes Superman super. I can’t say I’m completely clear on the story of Lois Lane’s son, but her fiancée must have found his myth, because that loser is the same loser who played Cyclops, always doing what he thinks is right, even if people are forever sneaking around behind him and playing him for a fool. Highlights include the picture of Superman holding the Mustang is a take-off of the original Action Comics cover.

Superman Returns 3D
Yup, same movie as above, but my cousin and I went to Channelside to see it in IMAX 3D, which always improves a movie in my opinion. I was a little bummed that only certain parts of the movie were in 3D rather than the whole thing, but seeing it on a huge screen was worth the drive. And the wait. And even the getting lost on the way back home. In short, if you have the opportunity to see a good movie in IMAX 3D, I say go for it.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
In my humble opinion, this was all around a damn fine movie. It had action, a good deal of comedy, even a little mystery and a good solid surprise at the end. This movie was definitely worth the wait, and I’m already looking forward to the next one. I actually want to see this movie again, but I think I may be running out of time to see it in theaters. Highlights include the scenes from Tortuga that show parts of the ride, and the fact that Tia Dalma’s cabin is modeled after the random scenery at the beginning of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland, complete with fireflies.

Miami Vice
This was a good movie, but I think it was trying too hard. Good action scenes, but the plot had some, I thought, pretty serious holes that started to gnaw at me when I thought about the movie after the fact. I like Jamie Foxx as an actor, and doubly so under Michael Mann’s direction. “Collateral” is still one of the best movies I’ve seen in a good long while. On the other hand, Colin Farrell has the fantastic ability to torpedo pretty much anything he touches. Need proof? I say unto you “Alexander.” In this film, on top of his questionable acting, his accent kept popping through. All that aside, this film was all around darker and grittier than the TV show it is based on. Maybe Michael Mann was trying to do now what he couldn’t do on TV back in the early 80s, but I can’t say that I liked it. For my money, the best Vice was the very first episode, particularly the scene where Crockett and Tubbs are cruising to their destiny to the hip and brooding rhythm of “Edge of Night.” Tubbs is only Tubbs when he has a poodle cut and a shotgun, and the apex of Crockett features pastel T-shirts and Don Johnson’s trademarked One Angry Face expression. Oh well, I guess this was an extension of the story, and not an improvement upon it.

In other news, I have started to go through all my videotapes that have been shot over the years. For some of you., this will mean that good times recorded for posterity will come to light again and have their chance to be shared with the world. For others of you, this should strike the fear of God in your heart, because if those tapes come out, you will at the very least never be eligible for public office. Jim, I am looking directly at you, here.

After a brief absence, I bring you once again:
Winners & Losers!

Winner: Snoop Dogg for his Orbitz commercial. It must have been hard enough for him to make it out of the ghetto without being shot, but now he’s even managed to do something most established actors can’t do: break in to the gum commercial industry. Believe me, that is a tough nut to crack. Good on ya, Snoop!

Loser: Whoever keeps green lighting those stupid Bush’s Baked Beans commercials with the talking dog. They’re ridden that horse as far as it’s going to go, and they need to come up with something new.